Combat Rules



Okay, now on to the important part of the game: senseless violence. Sometimes monsters will get in your path. Sane people run from monsters. You are not sane. You take sticks and poke them, hopefully to death. You are a hero.



Combat revolves largely around smacks. A smack is a hard hit. If a player gets smacked, he loses a card of his choice from his hand. Monsters are dead if they get smacked.



Combat alternates between two phases. The first is the narrator's phase and the second is the players' phase.

Narrator's Phase The narrator may announce you are in a fight and begin playing monster cards either prepared beforehand or randomly from the deck. There are three types of monster cards.

Number Cards create grunts, easily-defeated chumps with a hit class of likely.

Face Cards create warriors, moderately-difficult opponents with a hit class of unlikely.

Aces create bosses, enemies that are challenging and very hard to kill. They have a hit class of doubtful.

On a monster's turn, the narrator chooses a target, usually at random or the person who's messing arond the most or whoever would be the most fun to attack. He draws a fate card, and if it's a number card he activates the monster's number ability (N), if it's a face card he activates the monster's face ability (F), and if it's an ace he activates its ace ability (A).

By default, abilities automatically hit, though some player abilities grant exceptions, and certain monster abilities allow for a save.

Players' Phase

Players order of initiative proceeds clockwise around the table from the narrator. When your turn comes up, pick one of these options:

Draw to Attack: Draw a card from the narrator’s deck. If it matches the enemy's hit class you’ve defeated it. Grunts are slain by number cards, warriors by face cards, and bosses by aces. Having a skill doesn't help you. It's already assumed you're awesome at combat.

Play to Attack: Same as above, but you play a card to match the enemy’s type. Killified!

<p class="MsoNormal">Activate an Ability: Most abilities have use in combat. If the one you’re holding doesn’t, but you can convince the narrator it could smack an enemy, then it’s still lethal. Some abilities may be activated without using up your turn. These describe themselves with the words “as a free action” or “for free.” You play the card, but then you can play another card and still play any other free cards.

<p class="MsoNormal">Do an Action: None of those sound fun? Try an action, like over in the basic rules sections. In general, if it succeeds, an action can reduce an enemy’s hit class for one turn by making its life worse. So if no one can draw any aces to defeat that boss, consider an action to knock it down to only being as tough as a warrior with an action. In general, the difficulty for affecting an enemy this way is the same as the enemy's hit class, though it's one step better if you have an applicable skill. The narrator may adjust this difficulty. If an enemy's hit class is lowered below "likely," you can consider it taken out of the fight lethally or non-lethally.

<p class="MsoNormal">Alternatively, you can make it so an ally’s next attack is "buffed," which means it’s treated as one level better. So a number card can kill a grunt or a warrior, and a face card can kill a warrior or a boss. An ace still only kills a boss. A player with two simultaneous buffs can automatically kill anything, no need to draw.

<p class="MsoNormal">After all the players have taken their turns, made enough pop culture references, and generally finished wasting time in other ways, the surviving monsters take their turns again. The narrator has a monster target a player at random, or the one who’s been messing around the most, and has the creature attack. He draws a card and activates the monster ability, which does whatever it does to the target or targets or world at large. After the monster finishes up, it’s back to the players to mop of the survivors. After the conclusion of combat, all players draw a card.